“No amount of worry can solve any problem.”
I used to keep post it notes across my monitor at work, as a sort of way to organize my thoughts throughout the day. They were color coded, and prioritized, some made it into my purse and some eventually found its way onto my fridge. (That’s when it was really, really, REALLY important, like, don’t forget to buy chocolate)
Cozey has always been my ‘place’, where I can be real, unload, and talk. Most of the drivel I write here is mainly to my sub conscience, but it really does help to write this stuff down.
I’ve been spending more time with my mom at her therapy sessions since her stroke and am realizing that I’m filling in a role that I never imagined would be as frustrating and rewarding as parenthood. Only this time, she is my ward, and I am her caretaker.
Post it notes, the fridge, therapy, writing… where am I going with all this?! I know not. One moment we’re cheering when she spontaneously says ‘Wendy!’ and then within same breath, cries in frustration when she realizes she can’t repeat it.
I spent my RL birthday yesterday at her bedside, taking her to each session, watching this frail, still young woman of less than 60, pick her self up and out of her wheelchair to take a stroll around the rehab gym all while getting her to laugh at each and everyone of my dorky jokes. And she did, and they were funny dammit.
No amount of post it notes, cell alarms or calender notifications could possibly plan for days like these. No guidebook, tutorial or bullet point told me to take her into the day room today, so I could play the piano and sing for her. They tell us that music and sing song words help stroke patients who suffer from Aphasia. So I sing everything to her…..what time it is, what day it is, what she’s having for dinner.
Today and for the next few days I finally get to be at home with my own babies and I’m trying not to spam a bullet point list of “stuff to do for mom”, to my siblings. Its tough not to want to worry when you’re wired that way.
So I’m choosing right now, for at least this moment, not to worry. I’m choosing instead to be grateful.
Thank you for coming by today friends even if it was only for the credits ♥
Top: Blueberry Avela Tanks | FaMESHed
Pants: Mutresse Nikita Leggings
Hair: DeLa Sylvie
Necklace: Cae’s Ethereal Backlace and Necklace | The Seraphim Social
*Shoes: Essenz St. Tropez | Whore Couture Fair
Tattoo: Reckless’ Pax | Whore Couture Fair
Pose1: KMA Sitting Pretty 2
Pose2: oOo Studio Iced